pack. pack. pack. school. work.

UUGGGGHHH!!! so stressed right now!!!!!

GET OFF MY BACK PEOPLE.

OVER.

valentines day is coming around faster then ever... sigh :(

lets run away together...

I have been slacking but I do have reason for it. After everything that went on last week I decided I needed some time away from bismarck and well North Dakota in general! My best friend (christy) and I left for Montana Thursday afternoon and stopped in Sidney Mt. she has a lot of family there and we actually met up with her aunt Jessica and had supper. Her adorable son Gunner was there too. I just love that little guy! We also stopped and visited with her G-ma Gerry and then took off for Great Falls.

We were doing just fine until about Jordan Mt.

Then the wonderful luck that we had been having In ND caught up with us!

We had a flat tire so we went to the gas station where a nice gentleman who looked like Harry from Dumb and Dumber helped us. Thanks again Harry!

It set our designated time of arrival back a little bit but we were just thankful we didn't have to stay there! Well then we hit some construction which was horrible which the lead on to really heavy fog. Who knew thats when fog lights are most effective. Christy and I both wish we would of remembered that before we finally made it to Great Falls after driving 2 miles an hour for ever!

When we got there I met her friend Byron, he is the number one wrestler in the nation under his division.  (pretty impressive i suppose)

I also met his room mate Wan.. He is massive and just a giant teddy bear :)

Thursday night was eventful/uneventful we made it there and thats what really mattered... later we just put a movie in and went to bed!

FRIDAY:

we woke up went to the mall, christy and I got haircuts then went out to eat hung out for a little while then started to party. I met "Giggety Jones" "Sugar Shane" and Jeremy Montang aka WanTan :) all super nice guys as well and all wrestlers minus sugar shane.. we played beer pong and jones for awhile until a few more people showed up.. Eddie bush and John Burns (more wrestlers)! Who ended up being my Favorite People! Eddie is quite the character and at first i thought he was a huge asshole but you just got to warm up to his humor i guess haha and John well he is a gorgeous texas sweetheart needless to say.. i was interested. We all decided to go to some girls house and continue to party well christy got in a fight with byron and decided to walk a million miles away from the party and leave me there with all these people I had just met.. Sugar shane and Montang ended up rescuing me and we went to a bar called the Flamingo and I "country danced" with Jeremy most of the night and had a great time. Christy did eventually end up calling a taxi and going back to byrons.

SATURDAY:

We discussed what had gone on the night before and joked about it later on but at the time I KNOW i wasnt laughing. All the wrestlers had a Dual that they had to go to today so they got ready for that and christy and I went a little later, it was the fist wrestling match i had ever been to. Directly after that we all went to byrons pretty much everyone from the night before and then some and tapped the Keg that Byron had purchased. Keg Stands were done left and right by all the guys and eventually the talked me in to doing one.. I had never done one before so I was a little nervous sorta like "I remember my first beer" kinda thing. I actually rocked it and did two more through out the night and all was well until shortly after my third one i was just talking to some random people and all of a sudden next thing I know christy is asking me if im okay and helping off the ground. I guess my eyes rolled back into my head and I passed out but two seconds later I woke up. It was so weird cuz I have NEVER done anything like that before and kinda scary! (not to mention embarrassing) I recovered quickly and being a true party goer continued drinking just stopped the keg stands haha..  John and I ended up talking/flirting a lot this night also which was super fun! Then out of the blue byron freaks out and starts kicking everyone out and also decides to freak out on me and if anyone knows me they know "if you treat me with respect ill treat you with respect but if you don't I wont either" things got a little ugly.. lots of yelling and the next thing I know im pushed against a wall by him and I thought he was going to hit me. This is where the other guys jumped in and got me out of there! good thing! I went with john and eddie that night to another party at some apartments which was fun and then just ended up going back to there apartment and passing out on a tiny lil chair where i later just moved to the floor until morning. That morning John was on the couch and I woke up and he's like what are you doing down there and made some room for me on the couch with him.. i just LOVE CUDDLING! eventually I said i had to go back to byrons to meet christy and figure everything out even tho i really didnt want to leave that couch! He walked me back to byrons apartment and hung out with me there for a lil while until we went to breakfast and he just decided to go back. If it wasn't for him and eddie that night my trip would have been ruined! Byron never apologized and really has no memory of what he did. we are NOT friends.

Before we left Great Falls he told christy she would have to choose between him or me.

she picked me :)

Best Friends.. DUH

well im gonna wrap this up with some favorite quotes from the weekend!

Jeremy- " So you don't really do anything with guys you don't date huh!?"

Me- "Well no not really"

Jeremy-"Want to be my girl friend"

Me- "akward idk what to say laugh"

Christy- So when do you stop drinking from the keg

Eddie- When Jesus tells you to!

Christy- Heather slow down there are break lights up there

(rolls down window)

Christy- whats going on

Random guy walking- I just hit a fucking cow

It has been a rough week and its only Wednesday.  :(

The Prayer service is tonight. I'm going with Tiff and Christy, then just spending the night to go to the funeral tomorrow. I'm hoping I can keep it together tonight, but I know tomorrow I'm going to lose it.

- Some Day We Will All Have Perfect Wings -

Forever in my Heart!

...I don't know where to begin...

I lost a friend early Saturday morning to suicide.

I talked to him about 2 to 3 hours before it happened.

He was so angry.

So upset.

He told me he didn't want to be alone.

I know that I can't blame myself.

but...

I should of went to his apartment, I could of talked to him, he trusted me.

I will never forgive myself for not attempting to do more.

I am so fucking pissed at him.

He was so angry but how the hell do you think his friends and family feel now.

I cared a lot for him and I know he knows this!

I listened.

I CARED!

YOU MATTERED TO ME!

I'm so sorry!

I know you felt alone, but you weren't! There are so many people that love you.

I hate that you did this!

You are so much better then this, you are such a great person.

I loved you as a friend, you were great.

We have so many great memories!

I'll never forget coloring those pictures or jamming to some music that ur crazy landlord would get pissed at us for later.

we can't forget the parties cuz it wasn't a party without us!

I'll never forget the first night we hung out and I completely peer pressured you into drinking way more then you should of, so I will take the blame! Then of course all that drinking took its toll and I rubbed your back and grabbed you water as you endlessly puked all over my bathroom and then later by my couch.

I know I gave you shit for that but I've done the EXACT same thing times ten so I really didn't care.. I mean come on one of my besties elliot crapped on my floor..

I won't forget intramural football with all you guys.

That week you were sick and it was freezing out we cuddled up in your jacket cuz we all know I am the worst winter person ever and I never come prepared those conditions.

You were great to me.

Tiff always told me she was gonna hook me up with you haha..

We talked about that I haven't talked to her in so long I almost forgot.

I could always count on you to be up with me at we hours of the morning to talk to.

Why?!

You mean so much.

You are so loved and I wish you only knew how much of an impact you really did make on everyone!

on me!

I will NEVER forget you.

I am blessed to have gotten a chance to have you in my life.

I WILL see you again.

R.I.P Scott

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Remington Family and Friends.

so i am an hour early for class... hhmmm

I looked at my schedule wrong which doesn't suprise me. I guess I have time to publish a new post :). Christy and I have been hardcore working out the last couple of days and I haven't worked on my arms since maybe high school and WOW, so sore... not okay haha. I also got my blood test back and my alcohol content was a .22.. :( not good! My chances of getting out of my DUI are slowly decreasing inless my lawyer can work some magic who knows. I'm not getting my hopes up. School started on Tuesday and its nice to get back into things but 8 O'clock class kills me and I dont even know why. I have became a hermit basically this whole week and all I have done is slept. I just need to get into the motions I suppose. Well there is a dance tonight and I think I may attend.. we will see. As for the video I guess its not gonna happen.

1/11/10

To Do List:

1. call lawyer  - He is out of the country till the 18th.. REALLY!!?? ugh just my luck! haha

2. sign up for that last class - 2moro for sure!

3. print out transcript for dad - dido

4. Pack. Pack. Pack.  - I did get a lot done!

5. Workout - still going to make this happen

6. Possibly go to Mott

7. Become an apple buddy. - later as well

8. clean

9. go on my movie date :)  - rescheduled

10. enjoy my day off!  - heck yes i did

11. buy new work shirt for og and belt so Cari will stop giving me grief :P - I really didn't want to do this!

So I haven't done a whole lot today but then again I have.. got all my kitchen stuff pretty much packed and cleaned the fridge (nasty). Called my lawyer and found out he is out of the country for awhile which i wasn't to thrilled about but i'll manage. I did go tanning today.. (no more glowing in the dark!) I am on a mission to make a video and I hope my Best Friend will join me.. I don't know why I want to I'm just bored and hyper and sick of cleaning/packing. My apartment people showed my apartment today and I was so mad. All of a sudden i hear a knock and "goldmark" then i open the door and she goes can i show your apt.? Well i couldnt really say know so i said "i guess" (it is a disaster right now p.s.) then right before she leaves she goes "i did call you just so you know" which i thought was B.S. because i had just checked my phone. I went and checked it and ya 10 minutes before she showed up I had a call.. REALLY LADY REALLY!!!

not impressed.

well enough venting about that.. time to prepare for the video that will hopefully go down..

and yes i will be putting on here if it happens.

on another note.

A dickinson cop called me tonight, all i thought was GREAT now what did I do. He continued to ask me questions about a friend of mine from dickinson who had stayed with me last night so they could be dropped off at the airport this afternoon to go back home.

It was odd. I hope everything is okay!

In a Moments Time

you hold my hand, i know that you care

you pull me close, brush away my hair

you look in my eyes like you can read my very thought

you whisper in my ear that to you I mean a lot

I forget how to breathe when my heart beats that fast

I can't stop smiling hoping forever that this moment would last

I place my head on your chest, listening to your heart beat

I snuggle up to you, legs entangled along with our feet

you take your hand and lightly brush my arm

you then remind me to set my alarm

you know I always forget but it doesn't bother you

you close your eyes, and I do to

Together we will drift off to sleep

Together we wake up from the sleep that we were in so deep

Together we will begin a new day

but forever there is where I want to stay..

by: me

To Do List:

1. call lawyer

2. sign up for that last class

3. print out transcript for dad

4. Pack. Pack. Pack.

5. Workout

6. Possibly go to Mott

7. Become an apple buddy.

8. clean

9. go on my movie date :)

10. enjoy my day off!

11. buy new work shirt for og and belt so Cari will stop giving me grief :P

So fell asleep at a friends and now I will be up all night :( ugh I hate that. Naps are evil to me. I have been trying to give up pop, needless to say its an ongoing battle but I think I am doing pretty good... I have realized I can't just quit cold turkey so Moderation Moderation Moderation.. its key. HA.  I decided to try and replace it with a little coffee, because I know I can't give both up and I don't drink as much of that. Last week I worked out 3 times so im gonna try and bump that up to 5 this week, plus start tanning.. not a lot but I'm starting to glow in the dark and I'm not okay with this.

CS4!!!:)

So i'm going to be getting the CS4 programs I have been wanting FOREVER! You have no idea how happy I am about this..

next on the list: camera! :)

A big thank you to Vic & Merna Stentson... I LOVE YOU GUYS!
They recently gave me 500 dollars to help out with school.
They are our hunters that have been coming since I was 5 so they are more like grandparents and I love them! THANK YOU

now back to the og for my other half of my split :( ttyl!

Well i went out for a bit last night and behaved myself so that was good I guess, however I started to get a sore throat and I knew it was gonna get worse sure enough I woke up around 9 and thought I was gonna die.. thank goodness that Jen picked up my shift this morning otherwise I would of had to call in anyways.. Then I proceeded to sleep off and on till 4 o clock..  My days are so unproductive when this happens :( ... I did go visit my grandma for awhile and thats always fun we shared a steak and some mash potatoes and chatted. I love her! :) While i was there i ordered some swimsuits for this summer.. I mean why not its 2 below outside so i thought it was a great idea to get my mind off this hell hole frozen tundra of north dakota! haha I'm super excited for those to show up! Then g-ma got tired so I left and went to workout.. for being sick it went really well and I actually feel better! Usually it takes me a little bit to push myself but today it felt great so I decided I really need to start doing it more often and today was a good start! I really want to start going in the morning but i am probably the worst morning person EVER.. but thats my goal if I can get my ass up and work out thats saying a lot.. dedication right there! haha
So my new motto for this year is: If you don't like me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best! :)

INSOMNIAC BLLAAAHHH!!! this needs to stop... for the greater good of everybody.. I am around people 24/7. I can fake a smile better then anyone, i mean come on... its my job! I am by nature a very polite person so it makes is easier i guess.. but this is one thing that drives me crazy.. when my guests joke around and i dont get it.. at all like i dont even know they are making a joke.. then i kinda stand there and smile and say yah.. haha the wife of this couple i had today goes "he is joking" i just go OHHHHH hahaha.. [ : / awkward! ] on another note.
I need to get on my moving process and kick my procrastination in the butt.. HARD. Put oil in my car and hit the flippin gym.. its across the street like really heather lets go now.. haha
I work in the morning possibly in less jen picks it up which i would LOVE.. i hate working mornings its slow, boring, and all ppl get is soup and salads which can kiss my butt.. ohhh how i can't wait to move out of this town.. it will be fun but im gonna miss my friends up here! a lot! and my mall.. yes MY MALL. ANYWAYS.... those friends i was just talking about keep calling me to come out.. i suppose ill go.. im really not doing so well with this staying at home thing.. dang well im out

Og rhyme #1

I was super bored and this summed up my day at work.

My coworkers/friends got a kick out of it.. enjoy

work work all day long, pre-bussing those tables dusk till dawn, getting that soup and that bread, u tell my manager "great service" and tip me shitty instead.. all in a days work I put in my time just so I can bust out this gay og rhyme...

2010

New Years Resolution.

1. staying off the radar

(my new phrase i suppose)

2. working out more then I normally do

3. Og food once a month if possible

(when your there 9 hours it makes it really hard)

4. Staying focused

(with portfolios starting this month I gotta stay on top of my game)

5. find a new hobby

(?)

6. blogging more! :)

7. working out some kinks from my past

8. pay off fines

9.pay my dad back!

(I have the best dad anyone could ask for!)

10. Have a great new start when I move

11. work on my organization skills!

(my organized mess stresses me out sometimes)

12. try to slowly give up pop, and i mean slowly

13. master being a line cook

14. appreciate more

15. keep in touch with old friends

16. Stay home more rather then go out

17. beat my brick breaker high score

(It bugs me that I can't :( haha)

18. Don't let little things get me down, and always keep my head up

19. positive attitude

20. Enjoy the little things in life

Here's to 2010, and making more memories